Feeling Alone vs. Being Alone
In a world with over 7 billion people in it, it’s crazy how we can still feel alone? The people who we surround ourselves with will either fuel our souls or teach us a hard lesson.
This was one of the biggest fears that I used to have. I was afraid that I would end up alone because I wasn’t good enough, accepted or the thought of I don’t deserve to be happy. I have challenged these irrational beliefs several times and they are obviously a work in progress but through different experiences, the control these beliefs have over me, lessens.
Throughout the last few years, I’ve learned that loss, grief, anger and change really bring out the true nature of people. I knew this of course but experiencing it firsthand on many different levels and personally, it was eye opening. The biggest lesson that I have learned is that I can only control how I respond to other people and their behaviors and what they choose to do. When life changes, decisions are made and pain is felt, you can either accept it and learn how to move forward or you can continue suffering (see previous blog on radical acceptance for more info)!
I believe that through conscious decision and radical acceptance, I have been able to choose who I want to surround myself with. I don't want to surround myself with people who make me feel alone, who don't invest in my life, who don't hear me when I talk, who seek information to only use it as a weapon, among many other behaviors. I would rather be alone because the behaviors just mentioned have been more detrimental to me. The challenging of those irrational beliefs reoccurs, and I wonder what I did wrong and why I'm not enough to invest in or whatever thoughts come about. It is exhausting but also liberating because every time I have had to go through this, I grow stronger, more resilient and learn more about what I want out of life and who fits in it.
If you feel alone in any kind of relationship or around certain people, ask yourself if it is better to be alone or be with people who make you feel alone. If the answer is better to be alone, find me, let's chat!
So much truth. That’s a hard hard question! I am the type of person who seeks companionship and love. I crave the feeling of being loved. I find that it puts me in a position to settle for people who don’t truly have me and my wellbeing in mind but rather their own. Love and affection are dangled in front of me in order to fulfill their needs and wants without considering my own. I’ve lost myself in relationships like this time and time again. I am so afraid to leave these relationships because I don’t want to be alone. But reality is I feel more alone in that relationship than I do loving myself alone…. I think there needs to be more posts from you!! It’s comforting to know someone else understands what it’s like to feel this way and can articulate it so well. Thank you.
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