After the Beginning

 So have you ever had that uncertainty or little voice that always questioned if you will be enough, in whatever you are pursuing? I’ve had it most of my life. I’ve always sought outside approval and reassurance from others. It wasn’t until two years ago I really started challenging myself and what it all means. Before I go into greater depths of this, I want to share a bit about my past. 

I am the oldest of three children, so standards were high for me. I was raised in a typical household, other than the occasional family fights and whatnot. Even when I was young, I found myself seeking approval and wanting others to tell me what I should be doing, you know, people pleasing. I figured if I could make others happy and they approve of me, I’ve done the right thing. Little did I know that was a very devastating belief to have and to carry. 

Fast forward to January 1, 2021. In the span of not even a year, I had lost my dad in May 2020 to cancer, I was losing my uncle to cancer and I had just had an emergency surgery for an ectopic pregnancy that had ruptured. It had been a year, well not quite. Several other events had occurred as well in this time frame but wow, did it challenge a lot of my beliefs, opinions and views of the world. 

I ended up going to a treatment center in June of 2021 to manage my anxiety and grief and loss. This is ultimately where my life would change and I would start challenging everything I’d ever thought about myself and my purpose in this world.

This is where I’ll really start sharing more of what I’ve learned, what I’ve gained and what I’ve lost in these last three years. It’s been a roller coaster but I have still survived 100% of everything I’ve encountered.