Twining Part 1

 

    

One of my supports, a fellow NICU mom, had sent me this saying and I wanted to share it. I have mentioned my little nuggets in other posts, but I wanted to write about just them and reflect on the adventures that we have already been on with them and just how blessed I am to have them as mine. 

The girls, Hayden and Riley, are truly miracles. They have been fighters, stubborn and resilient since they were born. I wanted a little boy, because the thought of raising a mini me always terrified me. When I found out that I was going to be able to carry this pregnancy, and I was having twins, all I wanted was for the nuggets to be healthy. I am beyond blessed that they turned out to be little girls because little girls tend to have a higher survival rate when they are born so early. So now, I have 2 mini me's that I am beyond grateful to raise. 

There is truly a reason why I was chosen to be these two little one's mom. I don't quite know the answer yet, but I know there is a reason. The girls were born at 25 weeks and 3 days, a little over being 6 months pregnant. I was in the hospital for a month prior to delivering due to Hayden rupturing (ultimately her sac broke) and trying to get these little ones as far along as I could. Once the girls were born, little did we know that a whole new adventure would start in the NICU. 

 

I wasn't able to hold my littles after they were born, they were rushed to the NICU. I heard Riley squeal really quick and then she went silent. My husband went up to the NICU to see the girls and then came back down to where I was in recovery. I was able to go see them about 5 hours after I delivered and the only thing I could see was Riley's tiny foot (Tyson's wedding ring was able to fit up past her ankle). That was my experience of giving birth. 

To see your newborn little nuggets so small, weighing 1.13 pounds and 1 pound, having machines that were loud and breathing for them, their eyes were fused shut, their ears were not fully developed as we usually see ears, and their skin was very fragile. We couldn't hold them nor really touch them. I first held Riley when she was 10 days old and held Hayden when she was a little over a month old. This was just part of my experience as being a mom for the first month. 

I really want to write about the full journey, and I know that it needs to be done in chapters per se. This quote really hit home regarding the first month after the girls were born. I am still questioning "why I was picked" but I am beyond grateful that they picked me.